Filed under: Logs and landmarks, decisions | Tags: changes, decisions, family, passport, realizations, setback, visa
New Zealand. Island of penguins, sheep, kiwis, and hobbits. As most of you know, this was to be our home for — at least — the next three years. We say “was,” as this move is not going to happen.
What? Our family has been preparing for this move, in one way or another, since 2005. At first, we were just going to move there and hope to find work, maybe going to school later. But in 2007, we focused on a PhD film program at the University of Otago. Melissa received a very nice scholarship and a strong possibility of a tutoring position. We’ve been working toward getting there ever since. We planned to depart in March 2009, which, became impossible. The next date was Monday, June 22 (today). Our bags are not packed. Melissa needs to be in NZ by July 1 to enroll and get the tutoring position (necessary to our fiscal survival). That’s not going to happen.
Why? We began a request for a student visa last August. Melissa was fingerprinted, but the FBI lost the fingerprints. As we learned about this very late, we started on a second track to get a student visa as directed by the NZ consulate in Los Angeles. Last Friday, we learned that we had been directed wrongly and that we need to essentially begin the entire process over (fingerprints, etc.). This could take months, which puts us way outside the possibility of a July 1 departure. In the meantime, Joe has twice been turned down for a residency request over the year and is, with our three kids, waiting on Melissa’s visa to apply for his. Without these, none of us can enroll or work. No money.
When? The question then becomes whether we should postpone and for how long. The fact is that we won’t be able to depart, in all likelihood, before the end of the summer and the next window for a tutoring position opens up in March. We have been living very temporary, stressful lives for the last 12 months and rather than extend that indefinitely, we have decided to stop making the NZ move our goal. We want the kids to be able to settle in. We have been living the last three months at our in-laws (who have been incredibly gracious hosts). It’s near time for us to return to our own household — to give the kids (and us) our own places. Of course, we’ve sold nearly all our furnishings and so the idea of moving out, establishing another household, and selling it again within the next year is not conducive to making a stable home.
Where? We will be living in Ellensburg. Fortunately, the University here still has positions for both of us and we have work in the Fall (perhaps a bit more in the Summer also). We all have great support here and are starting to turn our attention toward plugging into things with a bit more purpose.
How? (do we deal with this). This is not the certain end of Melissa’s PhD hopes. The program does offer some International study options, which we are now going to pursue. This will likely mean losing the scholarship and paying everything out of pocket. It will likely also mean that Melissa will need to travel to NZ a couple times a year. This is all at the speculation level now, but it’s possible to knock out a couple years of work from Ellensburg and maybe, just maybe, we could move to NZ for the final year. In some ways, moving to NZ for 1 year may seem less stressful than the 3 year move we originally planned. Right now, all this is speculation. Now it’s time to return our focus to where we are and what’s before us.
Disappointed? Unbelievably. Defeated? Not at all. We have a lot of opportunities here, and though it’s always difficult to deal with a dwindling dream, we have a good situation here. Perhaps the greatest benefit of this is that we don’t have to say a 3-year goodbye to all of the wonderful people who have supported us.
Thanks.
Joe and Melissa.
No one’s asked, but I’m sure someone has thought, “Uh, whatever happened to the NZ plans?” The reason nothing has been posted in so long, is because we’ve been waiting for some definite piece of news. Either we’re going or we’re not. Paperwork will be finished, etc. But….
We have gone through a host of revisions to our visas–To be more specific, revisions to Melissa’s visa. Going back to last August, when we started on this, the visa didn’t seem like the most difficult thing. Since then, my applications have not gone well (of course, I tried for residency, which is much more difficult). The FBI lost Melissa’s fingerprinting, which we didn’t know for quite some time. We are now on the fourth round of visa applications due to some confusion of what is and isn’t necessary to try to get a 1 year student visa. On top of that, we need Melissa to get her visa to get the kids’ visa set up.
The big problem is that we’re now running out of time. Melissa’s tutoring position requires her to be in NZ at the beginning of July, and right now, we’re not sure that’s going to happen. Without the tutoring position, we don’t have enough money. Alas.
On the positive, the kids have a placement offer for a school.
Something will — or won’t — happen soon.
Filed under: decisions | Tags: changes, documentation, realizations, visa, waiting
Most of what has to be done to move is done. We’re in our temporary housing (Melissa’s parents) and surviving. We’ve sold most of our belongings and only have a little bit of sorting left. People are beginning to ask us when we’re leaving. We’re poised to buy tickets. And so on.
But those darn visas are still incomplete, which makes me terribly nervous. Melissa’s tutoring position isn’t guaranteed, which also makes me nervous. This is that horrible spot where most of the hard work is done but nothing is guaranteed. What if we can’t line up work (or I can’t get a work visa)? What if the money doesn’t line up right? What if we can’t go and have to find work, furnishing, and a place to live here?
I guess this is just part of the game. If it was easy and anything was guaranteed, more people would do it. We have a line of people telling us they will visit, but the line of other families trying to leave the country is significantly smaller. This can be an incredibly difficult process, and the excitement of possibility isn’t always enough to cover the doubts, frustrations, expenses. At times (like after we sold our wonderful bed or when uninterrupted solitude becomes a distant memory), it seems like an impossibly stupid idea. This usually makes me tend to romanticize the move all the more, or fall into absolute despair and regret.
So we are in the “inbetween days”–that point when it’s almost too late to pull out and the ground looks like it’s coming too fast to be avoided. Melissa and I have both notified work that there is a strong possibility that we won’t be here in the fall. How stupid is it to give up work at this point?
I’ve become too much of a skeptic, and though I really appreciate the wonderful people in our lives that tell us “God will take care of it,” sometimes that doesn’t seem to be as comforting as an approved visa and a job offer. Still, this is all part of the process and within 2-3 months, we’ll either be pulling out of the dive, or crashing into the ground.
Filed under: decisions | Tags: housing, preparation, realizations, selling, visa
Aside from some Visa issues (not that those aren’t very major concerns), we are on pace to make the move. Last weekend was our big purge: estate sale, move, and Goodwill runs. We sold all our furniture and donated two truckloads of yard sale leftovers. From a “yard sale” perspective, we did well. Considering how much it would cost to replace all we sold, it doesn’t seem like it. Melissa and I are both in mourning over the loss of our wonderful mattress.
So now we are on to this new quarter: living with parents. It is humbling, but we are very thankful. This will give us the opportunity to put some more money away and get detatched from any financial or other entanglements. We are still a bit nervous, especially considering the Visa situation. We are also scrambling to compress our remaining belongings into two piles: storeable and packable. I tossed some items I’ve been carrying around for twenty years. This also gave me an excuse to replace some cassette tapes that are beat up but sentimental (Yeah, new Thompson Twins, Psychedelic Furs, and Hall & Oates CDs. It seems that the Surf Punks CD is out of print, so I’m holding on to that cassette).
I even started going through my card collection. Did you know they made cards for Alf, Jaws 2, WWF wrestling, and Mork & Mindy? Got ‘em. I did let go about 900 cards of 1980s baseball players.
This week is Spring Break, which will be our last change for uninterupted sorting and packing. We have some family heirloom furniture that we are puting in storage at my parents.
Even if everything falls apart, Melissa and I seem strangely at ease with the massive filtering we are now doing. When we started selling books, movies, etc. over a year ago, those first items seemed so hard to release. Now, it feels very liberating. I think of the multiple times we’ve moved these boxes of stuff, only to pack and move them again. The kids have been wonderful about it all, and we couldn’t be happier with their perspectives. Both of our older kids have offered some things they really care about to people who would enjoy them.
There is something healthy about setting almost everything you own on a lawn and putting it into another house. It’s even more enjoyable to finally let go of things that you used to think were essential, only to find that they were just things. Still, don’t even think about getting my A-Team trading cards. Those are going to the grave with me.
Filed under: Logs and landmarks | Tags: housing, Michael, moving, preparation, selling, visa
Like the great saints of old—and the Buddhist monks of now—I am trying to separate myself from the material world. This weekend is our “estate sale.” We will be selling our beds, couch, dishes, etc. We’ve already unloaded multiple boxes of books and quite a few DVDs (our lifeblood). But saying goodbye to the bed—that’s big. Melissa bought it a few years ago with a tax refund. It has changed our sleeping life (is that a dirty-minded snicker I hear?).
Of course, the catch now is that after we sell our stuff, we are moving in with Melissa’s parents. They have been wonderful to us, but it will be a long time in a small space.
Finally, my brother-in-law Michael just received word that he will be deploying to Iraq within a week. I’m sure he’s not doing this to leave the country before us. Unfortunately, we won’t see him again before we leave.
Some of the immigration stuff is still up in the air. I’m considering applying for a program at the University of Otago (where Melissa will be studying). But until after we rid ourselves of all earthly physical attachments, I won’t be able to much much thought into it. I think we might be crazy to be doing this.
Filed under: Logs and landmarks | Tags: immigration, moving, selling, visa
Our response from the fine folks in NZ about immigration was pretty unanimous: Get Melissa’s student visa finalized, then apply for visitor visas for the kids and a work visa for me. Once there, and once the kids are in school and I can find employment, there are options to upgrade those visas. So that’s what we’re working on. Time is getting closer, but if our past experience is any indication, the NZ immigration people have been very helpful and very efficient.
Anyone want to buy a couch?
Speaking of time…. Here’s the current plan. We’re currently sorting and gutting everything in the house. I’ve managed to prune my books to about 100 (well, maybe 130, plus a collection of Early Church Fathers). I’ve also moved to about 150 total DVDs and about the same CDs. If you’ve seen my collection, this is pretty monumental. Melissa is going through this process now. Very, very painful. Our kids are doing a similar selection process and have been wonderfully cooperative.
That leaves us with putting together a massive (for us) estate sale next month. No dates are completely official, but we are now looking at selling everything in March then moving in with Melissa’s folks until we leave in June/July. Obviously, a lot of things have to come together to make it all official. I should be packing right now.
Filed under: Logs and landmarks | Tags: funding, immigration, paperwork, setback, visa
Today was one of those unfortante dates when a person (specifically, me) begins to rethink his worth. The work to get to NZ has been long. As one might imagine, there is a substantial amount of paperwork — or, at least, webform work — necessary to transplant a family from one country to another. Part of that is my application for residency.
Immigration is a major issue in the US. Likewise, New Zealand is rightfully concerned with the quality and contributory ability of applicants attempting to enter the country. As of February 4, and for the second time in this process, this immigrant applicant didn’t cut it. I received notification today of a rejection of my “Expression of Interest.”
This doesn’t kill our effort, but it definitely sets us back a bit. Today, we’ll begin the scramble to figure out our options. It isn’t that I can’t get into New Zealand. The kids and I could attach to my wife’s student visa. It’s that I may not be able to work or qualify for public insurance while there. And although we are being offered a generous package for Melissa’s PhD program, it may be a significant strain to survive without my financial contribution. More to come.
After all the conversations, the running of lists, the questions about the future and responsibility, it looks like we’re set on heading to the Southern Hemisphere. Right now, that means we are ready to pack a little and sell everything else. Plans are being made to move out of our place and live with my wife’s parents for a few months.
There are still a number of details to take care of, but it looks like we are intent on the journey. Melissa has returned her acceptance letter, which means that the University of Otago is saving space and funds. I have updated my visa request, but we may have to look for more options for me. More to come.
Yesterday was our list day. Melissa and I gathered our pros and cons and escaped from the kids for an hour (thanks Sammy). The summary of it all was that we didn’t decide anything. We didn’t even succeed in deciding to decide. Still, good ground was covered.
Our lists ranged from the practical (money is, and will always be, a big player) to the sort-of-silly (Amazon and Netflix). Of course, the biggest issues are bound to be how a decision makes so many other decisions. If we go to NZ, we leave Washington. If we leave Washington, we leave our friends and family, most of whom don’t have the money and time to hop around the world on a three-day weekend. If we pull away for years, how will that affect the kids? Et cetera.
At the same time, we’ve been surprised by how supportive these same people — the main reasons we wouldn’t go — are of us going. We know communication has improved over the years, so we’re not afraid of losing all contact. But moving anywhere means we start new friendships and change the nature of our existing ones. For me and Melissa this is uncomfortable. For our kids, this could be permanent.
So, we’ve torn through the lists and we basically know what we knew before: this will be hard. But, within a couple of weeks, we’ll have made a decision. Then all we have to do is live with it (and if pro-NZ, make an international move).
U of Otago likes us
Melissa received an e-mail in December about being accepted for one of the two major scholarships we needed. That letter officially came this week, which means it is now serious time on the NZ. We need to respond to them by the end of January and if we accept it, Melissa has to begin at the U of Otago by September 1.
That means we are both conflicted and excited. The scholarship isn’t nearly enough money to cover our costs, but it is a once-in-a-lifetime chance. This feels like the small opening of a small window. So, much discussion shall follow and this blog will soon be full of posts about preparation and leaving — or shut down.
We still need more positive news on my residency status. It will be very hard to find work in NZ without it, and I will need to work. Oh, and a boatload of money wouldn’t hurt either.
